Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Day 19 -- Off day, rural western Pennsylvania

Wednesday July 17

Good to have another day off, even if mid-week when we could be gigging. Woke up way too early on to a foggy dawn. The weather threatened storms most of the day.

Been spending a lot of my time holed up in the upstairs bedroom I am currently occupying.

Partially out of a desire for peace and solitude when not playing a show.

gig nights there is a noisy bar, people, friends, family, drunks, crazy people, depressed people, more noise, great conversations, uncomfortable conversations, etc etc etc. While I love what I do and wouldn't trade it for the world, on days off I need a break from all that. Some peace in a noisy world. Plus, still dealing with what I am dealing with, which makes me want solitude even more, as I don't want to dump my own problems on anyone else's life.

That, and it's been really fucking hot and muggy.

And there is not nearly as much AC up here in rural Pennsylvania as there is down in Texas. 90+ degrees and muggy is just as miserable up here as it is down there. And the Hornyak homestead is a 200 year old farm house. They certainly didn't have central air back in those days, and still don't today. But there are a few window units, and the window fan/blower/air-circulator in my room has helped immensely.

So coupled with my own personal situation and the fact that I don't want to be outside any longer than it takes to smoke a cigarette, I have not been doing a whole lot of exploring of the surrounding area.

Which has kind of troubled me. In past tours I'm like a dog, I want to sniff every corner and rub my butt on the carpet, taking pictures of everything. On this tour, I brought my D-SLR Canon but have taken maybe 2 pictures. That is mainly because of my iPhone.

But around the Hornyak homestead, there are hills, forests, fields, and a nearby swan pond. And I haven't had any desire to wander off save to get some distance from the house to make the occasional heavy phone call.

I just hope I'm not losing my sense of wonder while traveling.

I've toured with people who were either dealing with a lot or were just jaded. And it's kind of sad, and brings down those around them. I don't want to be either, for the sake of the people I'm spending a stupid amount of time in a van with, trying to get through the bad shows to make it to the good ones. A negative attitude is poison, and is unfortunately very contagious.

However on this day I did make an improvement in my mental won state, and did walk down to the swan pond briefly to snap a few pics of the often belligerent swan. He checked me out, but didn't climb out of the water and come at me, bro.

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